Thursday, June 14, 2012

FOR ALL THE MEN IN OUR LIVES WHO ASK, "WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG IN THE RESTROOM?”

Ok I got this in an email and just HAD to share it…

When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place.   

Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.   

Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. 

You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants!

The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty.   

You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but  quickly drape it around your neck,(Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on  the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume "The Stance."   

In this position your aging, toneless (Gosh I should have gone to the gym!!!) thigh muscles begin to  shake.   

You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold  "The Stance." 

To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!"  Your thighs shake more. 

You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to  strangle yourself at the same time).That will have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail. 

Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work.   

The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet.   

"Occupied!"  you scream,  as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course.

You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper  not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try.   

You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom  never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear,  "You just don't  KNOW what kind of diseases you could get". 

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes.   

The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.   

At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat.   

You're e-x-h-a-u-s-t-e-d.   

You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket! And then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. 

You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors .....so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still  waiting.   

You are no longer able to smile politely to them.   

A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe.  (Where was that when you NEEDED it??)  You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this".   

As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom.   

Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?"

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!).  It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs.  It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse, and hand you Kleenex under the door! 

Send this to all women that understand what bonding in the bathroom is all about!   

A Friend Is Like A Good Bra...   

Hard to Find... Supportive.... Comfortable ...  

Always Lifts You Up... Never Lets You Down, or Leaves You Hanging,   

And Is Always Close To Your Heart!!!   

Share with anyone who needs a good  laugh!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Christmas is over…

I love Christmas and the month leading up to it.

I love spending time with family and friends.

I love all the decorations.

I love the music.

I love the Christmas movies on Hallmark & Lifetime channels.

I love all the treats.

I love hot cocoa with marshmallow crème and cinnamon and nutmeg.

I love sending and receiving Christmas cards.

I love all the lights on houses and the Mesa Temple.

I love when we find the “perfect” gift for each kid.

I love the big family dinner on Christmas Eve at our house.

I love the looks on the kids’ faces when they unwrap their gifts.

I love seeing the kids happily play with their new toys.

I loved the beautiful musical program at church on Christmas Day.

I love all sharing and giving.

I don’t love all the cleanup.

Christmas is OVER and now I want everything cleaned up. Who wants to come do it for me? Although, as much as I want someone else to do it, I’m a little OCD about how things are done, so ultimately, it’s up to me. UGH!! How soon do YOU put all the decorations away?

Also, I’ve completely derailed my diet and workout. I found 101 Healthy Things You Can Start TODAY! (<--click to see them)

I only skimmed thru the list but I’m pretty sure I need to do ALL of them! Starting TODAY!

What are you going to start doing in 2012? I also starting thinking about MY WORD for the new year. Have you?

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year

ChristmasCard2011-web

MERRY CHRISTMAS from my family to yours!

AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Monday, December 19, 2011

Gift Ideas

Are you looking for a few Christmas gift ideas for that special someone? Or someone who is hard to shop for or seems to already have everything they want? Watch these short videos to give you inspiration… (turn off my awesome Christmas music first so you can hear the good info)

The Forever Lazy
The PooTrap
Booty Pillows
Handerpants

Nathaniel wants the Forever Lazy. And Felicia keeps telling me that we need the PooTrap for our dogs! HAHAHA

Friday, December 2, 2011

A Little Post

HA! It's been almost a year since my last post! It's just so much easier to send short updates to facebook (from my phone) than post on my little blog.

Well, I'm most certain that my computer has crashed! I've been hijacking Ben's computer the last 2 weeks. Mine won't even boot up anymore. It keeps asking for a Windows boot disk, but since my CD Rom took a dump a couple years ago, I can't use a boot disk. So, now I'm ready to ditch my cute pink computer tower and clunky monitor that was around when dinosaurs were still here (ok maybe not that old, at least it's has a flat screen but still thick and clunky like the old TVs) and upgrade to a laptop! I'd say that's a pretty good Christmas and Birthday combo gift. I'm used to combos since my birthday is only a week and a half after Christmas.


If anyone has any tips or knows of a good deal on laptops or what NOT to buy, please let me know! THANKS!! Oh and I don't have a very big budget, so please don't send me links to amazing stuff I can't afford, it will just make me drool and cry. :(

Let the hunt begin...

Sunday, January 16, 2011

My Word…

Word2011-Choose-web

I had two different words on my mind when this word popped in my head:

CHOOSE “to select from a number of possibilities”

CHOOSE the Right

CHOOSE a positive attitude

CHOOSE to be productive

CHOOSE NOT to be offended

I was inspired a couple weeks ago, when we had a lesson at church during Relief Society that came from President Thomas S. Monson’s talk “The Three R’s of Choice” from the October 2010 General Conference (Priesthood Session). He talks about various aspects of choice and put them into three categories: the right of choice, the responsibility of choice, and the results of choice, hence the three R’s of choice. I really enjoyed his perspective. He ended his talk by saying “…may we be filled with gratitude for the right of choice, accept the responsibility of choice, and ever be conscious of the results of choice.”

I hope I can be more aware of the choices in front of me and do a better job this year with my attitude and being a good example to my family.

I’m also choosing to attempt Project 365 again this year {a picture each day for the year}. Hopefully I’ll get farther than I did 2 years ago. LOL! If you want to follow along, you can check out my Project365 blog HERE.

Did you choose a word to center your goals around this year?

If you want ideas for a word, go HERE.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I hope y'all had a wonderful Christmas!
We did! It was simple but nice!
I'm so grateful for my family and friends {real & online}!

I can't believe that this year is ending and 2011 is approaching so FAST! It's been a strange, hard, changing and wonderful year! I've also started thinking about my new word of the year. Have you picked a word yet? I'm still thinking. I'll reveal mine when I finally settle on one.
*Need some ideas - look HERE and HERE